THE LIGHTER SIDE OF REAL ESTATE
STORY. CAUGHT IN THE ACT
AS A BLUEJAY
TROUBLE WITH YUPPIES
* IN A
LOVE & REAL ESTATE
Once upon a T-Rex
time, when men lived in caves and women did not shave their legs, the
roles were simple. Masculinity was defined by the 3 "P's" Real men were
supposed to: "Provide, Protect and Perform." Women, on the other hand,
were defined by the 3 "B's". They were supposed to: "Bake, Beautify, and
Breed!" Hardly anyone on the planet, except maybe Martha Stewart, still
strictly believes these stereotypes.
Times have changed.
Genders are jumbled. But there is a primitive, atavistic part of the
female brain that sometimes percolates to the surface, especially on
Valentines Day. Half instinct, half wishful-thinking, the secret thought
that still pervades the modern female's fantasy is that; "If he really
loved me, he would buy me a castle, or mini-mansion, or something better
than this crummy cave."
Afterall, one of
the architectural marvels of the world, the Taj Mahal, was created for
the builder's beloved wife, Mumtaz. Similarly, railway scion and oil
baron, Flagler, gave his lovely bride Mary Lily, a 30 room marble
mansion in Palm Beach as a wedding gift. (Now there's a man who knows
how to treat a girl!) There was a romantic tycoon locally too. In
Toronto, Sir Henry Pallett, in a splendid fit of passion, we are told,
built the fairytale Casa Loma for the Mrs.
forget the truffles and roses this year. Women secretly crave castles.
Or you can update the fantasy, and really make a statement this
Valentines. Give your sweetheart a 2800 sq. ft. luxury condo, with
granite counters, nifty Euro appliances and a concierge where the moat
should be. (Coincidentally, I just happen to know of some for sale!
Real estate is
sexier than chocolate. It always has been. The truth is, property is the
timeless aphrodisiac that unlocks unbridled female desire.
Embellishing Ogden Nash's prescriptive aphorism to keep your love life
brimming, let it be said my friends: CANDY IS DANDY, LIQUOR IS QUICKER,
BUT A CONDO IS GONZO!!!!!
Note: A pre-nuptial
agreement is recommended for all romantic purchasers in the event
passion fades. Expert advise available free of charge. Not intended to
solicit purchasers without money.
If you have any
humourous anecdotes related to real estate, you can email me at
and colleagues excluded,of course), have been accused of sometimes
embroidering reality, by putting a distinct positive spin on the facts.
Here are some examples of such puffery:
Joke and Humour Sites
Send me any
entertaining examples you may have to add to my collection
Cheers and keep
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